The length of this piece I actually found appropriate for the story. Seems like you put a ton of work into both the acting and the plot. Very nice work! I laughed a couple of times and I was always interested in what was going to happen next. The mixing was great and the music and sound effects were all perfectly chosen and placed, really adding to the general mood of the piece. Your vocal range was quite good and what I’m most impressed by is the balance this story has. There was a clear beginning, middle, and end, though I don’t know if I completely understood the end hahahaha. My only real critique is that the vocals were too dry. I think they could have benefitted from some reverb to make it sound like they were in the same spooky space as the sound effects and whatnot. Otherwise, this was a really fantastic entry, one of the most entertaining on the list. Superb work!
Thank you kindly for the critique and compliments. Yeah, I should definitely take reverb into account whenever the story is in that kind of setting. I'm glad you enjoyed it overall.
I was skeptical about this after reading your description, but this turned out to be one of the funniest entries I’ve heard. I started laughing almost instantly. There was quite a plethora of variation in voices and the mixing was very well done, though I have to say your voice booming quite louder than the music at the beginning surprised me, but it wasn’t too big of a deal. Although you tell me not to question the plot, I have to say that that’s my biggest question. This was really more of a voice demo, and I’ve heard some of your stuff before and they’ve been mostly voice demos as well. I would have liked to follow a real plot instead of listening to joke after joke after joke. Though the voices and the humor were outstanding, I really want to hear how you take control of your voices by sticking with a coherent dialogue. Anyways, this was quite good and I enjoyed it very much. Excellent work!
The biggest thing about this that was both good and bad was all the stuff that wasn’t voice acting; the background music and sound effects. While they were all placed pretty well, they were too loud at many spots and drowned out the actual dialogue or distracted from the dialogue. When you’ve got a situation where you don’t want to induce ear rape and therefore speak softer, then you’ve got to pay close attention to how your sound effects sound and how to balance them with the acting you’ve recorded. The story was a typical damsel in distress plot that was turned quite nicely into its own novelty, which I enjoyed. I think Shoe Shine could have spoken with a little quicker pace instead of being so drawn out with his sentences and I think the Undead Lord had some inconsistency with his voice. Other than that, this was pretty concrete; I could visualize the story happening and the broad vocal variation made me understand who was who. Great work!
Well, it seems like you just did this on a whim and whizzed through it without any thought. There’s no coherent story, but it is just you talking to yourself in different voices I suppose. Pretty schizo hahahaha. It is nice your banter actually sounds like bantering with multiple characters, but other than that I have no idea what else to say to this. You should really hash something out that’s more legitimate next time.
Nicely done. A fairly humorous story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. The vocal variation between characters was well done and there was a fair amount of sound effects to keep the story intact. The big problem is the mixing, it was garbled and there were some pops with your breath. It’s good to be careful of what you’re doing with your mouth and your air as you’re recording so that extraneous noise isn’t accidentally made. Other than the technical difficulty, your submission was pretty good. I liked how your main character did not sound like a main character and I liked how you were able to say everything that needed to be said in a concise amount of time. Good work!
So, Mario and Luigi sounded exactly the same. There was really no writing here, I had no perception of what the story was. I mean, I guess this was all recorded in one take. And I lost track of what anyone was saying really quick. You said your entry is dung, so I guess that’s it.
This piece really really needed some background ambience or music. This sounded like you were recording in one take. Recording lines separately and fashioning them together helps create a sense of realness, especially when they overlap at certain spots. It helps push the flow of the piece as well as cuts down time. Other than that, your acting was okay. There could have been more vocal variation and some mixing work on the voices to differentiate who was who. Simply some slight reverb on the secret agent could make him sound like he’s on a different plain than the narrator and would differentiate those characters more. The story was okay, it was kind of dull but I think that might be because of the amount of silence and the general mood of the acting not really fluctuating; the secret agent could have sounded way more surprised by some of the narrator’s comments. Overall, this is a decent piece that needs more work to really make it stand out.
Thank you for the review. I would have added background noises, but as it turns out, the websites I found were going to make me pay for them and money is not something I can afford to waste right now (if you know of a place where I can get free sound effects then I would be very happy if you would tell me where). Also, would you really expect a lot of noise to be made around a top secret base where the agent is trying to be quiet? The only sounds that would come to mind is a grappling hook and the footsteps of the secret agent scaling the wall, and maybe some wind. (The lack of sound in some parts also leaves ambiguity as to who to believe, the agent or the narrator). And the silence between pieces is intensional to represent real time in conversation (Not everything is said within two seconds when someone stops talking, but it seems that people aren't appreciative of this so my next comedy audio submission will have less of this. I could have easily smashed all the audio together).
I recorded voices in multiple takes, but even I'll admit that I should have gone back to add more vocal diversity (I can do a lot of different voices, shown through my demos, but it would seem somewhat cheap to try and work these voices in, like trying to shove a square block through a round hole). I don't really know what you mean by "reverb", but I recorded my voices based on what I see and hear on television and real life and for the most part, the narrator's voice is usually the same as the people in the story, as if the narrator is in the room with them.
You are correct that the secret agent could have sounded more surprised at the narrator's comments, but should he? If he loses his temper that easily, he wouldn't be much of a secret agent. And flipping out in entertainment is often too overdone to be humorous. Why should a person getting angry be entertaining or how is it unique when every movie today uses this strategy at some point?
And lastly, you say the story was dull, but this might have been due to the lack of background noise or music? That's not very good judging from my perspective. You should be able to separate the story and production quality since these are two different things, which reflects and calls into question your judging skills. This is the only story that I've ever heard to follow this plot. I would, however, definitely agree with you that this is not grade A work, but it is definitely more unique than you give it credit for, despite its lack of polish.
I hope you enjoyed my review of your review and I'll be sure to enter your contest next year, whether or not I win and whether or not you hold a grudge for anything I wrote in this comment. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
Was dad driving some heavy duty all-terrain vehicle? LOL. You sure do like musical interludes, I think that added some unnecessary time. I think some of the voices were inconsistent; they sounded a little different after each transition so sometimes I forgot I was listening to a previous character already introduced. The story was okay, I thought it was weak for suddenly copping out at the end with happy brownies. There was no full circle with getting his first cell phone, it just darted in other directions; I thought dad would be foreshadowing the rest of the story. Character variation was pretty good and the mixing was great as well. But I thought the acting was kind of dry actually, it sounded more like you were reading your lines and less like you were acting them. Overall, I think this is a solid story with some good characters, but there was a lack of creativity, for me.
Wow! What a complex meaning out of such a short piece! I really enjoyed that, but I’m a sucker for conciseness. The ambience and all the sound effects were perfect and mixed in nicely. I think the vocals could have used some reverb or something to make it sound like Lance and his grandpa were actually in the wilderness. I think grandpa actually could have used some more power to his voice; he sounded weak but seemed very strong-headed, I think he needed more acting to his character. The script could have been more clever, in my opinion, but that transition at the end to the final eponymous line really surprised me. And the distinction between characters was very good. I have to say again, I really enjoyed this piece. Great dramatic work!
Thank you so much! Heehee, it means a lot to me that you liked it so much, and I will agree that the grandpa could have used some more work on. but hey, I had fun with it, and I'm looking forward to the next contest!
The phrase here sounds very different for you. Both parts gave a sense of purpose to each other; the beginning really set me up for the surprise of the second half that was a completely new mood. I really like the mellowness of it with the drums and the rhythm not sounding too overpowering. Whatever happened in this piece was a really nice change of pace, in my opinion. Though funnily enough, once it faded out I could imagine the re-entry of the drums being more hard and the melody sort of gated...lol...I love you.
Just an awkward clown that showed up late to the clown pile. I love to provide goofy-spook music but I'm open to anyone that challenges my comfort zone. Send me details of your lifestory when you get the chance!
Timmy's First Board Game 
VAC 11 - "My First Time" 
Benjamin's First Rescue 
zombies 
Pet Store Calls 
My First Kill 
Like hunting deer 
Lateral Descent 
